The High Chair Verdict

The High Chair Verdict

Friday, November 7, 2014

Where's Your Belly Button? And Other Bizarre Questions

So, I have to begin this post with caveat that I love my parents. No, really.  I think they're fabulous and I would NOT trade my family for another. I love them almost as much as my Ducky - which is a LOT. So this isn't about me dissing my parents in anyway.  It's just that they can be peculiar at times.

Take my mom for instance. I love her to death, but bless her heart, the poor woman seems utterly confused about my anatomy.  She asks me a minimum of three times a day, "Where's your belly button? Where's your head? Where are your fingers?"  They are still here, Mom.  Haven't relocated since the last meal. I patiently pointed them out to her, but lo and behold, by the next meal, she asks me again.  She also knows when to ask - when I'm at my most vulnerable.  Like I'll just be taking an aim to throw my paratha on the ground, and in mid-throw, she asks, "Ahana, where are your ears?" Instinctively I point to them. I can't believe I fall for it every time, but I do. 

As if that isn't bad enough, my gramps (love them to bits) also seem disoriented some times about reality.  I was given a tea set for my birthday, and they enthusiastically ask me to "pour" them a cup of tea.  They don't seem to get that it's not real.  I tried explaining to my grandpa the other day, Thatha, it's not really tea.  But all he did was smile and exclaim, "Look she's saying Thatha!" And turned to me with a pleading pout, "Ahana, won't you please pour me some tea?" Sigh. 

I thought my family was the only crazy one, but I began wondering if this was a more widespread phenomena. The other day, when my mom was with her friends, she said enthusiastically, "Ahana, show Aunty X your ears!" I felt embarrassed for her and was about to apologize for her bizarre behavior, when I caught an expectant look in my Aunty's eyes - she was waiting excitedly to be shown my ears!  I couldn't believe my eyes (or ears).  Then finally, the other day, it struck me when I observed my friend Nivoo patiently pointing out his body parts to his parents that ALL adults have lost it! It occurred to me that this might be the smartest I'll ever be! It's all downhill from here, fans!

A few days ago, Aripops' mom complained to my mom, "He's so bored with us at home," she said.  "Could it be because they were badgering him about his anatomy? " I wondered privately as I "poured" a second cup of "tea" to my delighted grandma.

The Highchair Verdict: Adults are sweet, loving beings who have lost all their marbles. The best way to deal with their bizarre questions is with patience and dignity, and to engage them in their pretend world.

This Little Piggy Went to Central Market

Sorry I've been out for a few days, fans.  Apart from feeling miserable with a cold, I've been researching if using the Nose Frieda on a minor constitutes Child Endangerment.  Apparently the Geneva Convention on Torture doesn't cover this. (Yeah, go figure)

Speaking of torture, it was Halloween last week, and my parents decided to meet up with a good friend of ours for dinner. I was dressed as a fairy. I didn't object much because the stick (that my mom enunciated as "W-a-n-d") was quite interesting.  My cat, Laika, on the other hand fought her costume tooth and nail. Which cat likes to be paraded as a zebra? What's up with these adults anyway?

Anyhoo, when I got to Central Market, I met my friend Aripops. I really like the guy.  He's an affable chap.  I think we get along, even though we don't talk much.  His favorite word is "Car" (pronounced Cawww) and mine is "Duck". It would be a very short conversation if there was one.  Despite the lack of common interests, I feel very comfortable in his company. So it was nice to sit down for dinner with him.  I felt a little agitated for him because his mom dressed him as Piglet. If my Mom were to pull that on me, I would have raised hell, "How would YOU like to be dressed a pig in public, Mom? Not so cute are we now?" At the minimum, I would have put up a screeching fight like Laika. But this is Aripops. He wiggled into the pink costume in his usual agreeable manner. With a smile, no less.   He attracted a lot of attention too - "oh, what a sweet boy!" "Look at him smiling" An old woman even came up to dance with him. If anyone could pull off looking cute as a pig, he could. And he did.


So, there we were, fairy and piglet sitting down to dine.  My parents raved about the vegetarian pizza (my grandma who had eaten there a few weeks prior nearly OD-ed on the pizza because it had all her favorite toppings - artichokes, olives and feta), and they decided I should partake in Central Market cuisine so they got me Mac N Cheese.  I spat out my first bit of it. Eww! I turned to share my disdain with Aripops when, to my great astonishment, I saw him enthusiastically chomp down his Mac N Cheese with his bare hands! I sat in my high chair aghast. Different folks, different strokes, fans. 

One thing Aripops and I did agree on was the live music.  We live in Austin, where live music is kind of a big deal.  That night, the band played some fun music to which we boogied. It was a blast! I enjoyed working off my rice and dal to Cajun music.

The Highchair Verdict:  I gave 4 out of 5 stars to Central Market primarily because of the fun  live music. To be fair to the cuisine, if you're into Mac N Cheese and all that jazz, apparently this is the place to eat.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Maharaja Schmaraja

So, I finally got my taste of “real” restaurant food. Truth be told, I’ve been perfectly happy eating at home, but it was decided that after my first birthday, I would be subject to “outside” cuisine. I had already showed my parents what I thought of pasta and noodles (pretty on the wall, I say, not on my plate!) so they decided to take me to an Indian place called “Maharaja Bhog” in Houston.  Grandma, Mom, Dad, Aunty & Uncle seemed thrilled – they kept talking about how good the food was, and how the flavors were so “different and unique”.  Whateves. Who  needs “different and unique” food when you can just eat rice and dal everyday, for every meal?  After several attempts to get me to eat a greenish looking puri (Spinach? Belongs in my smoothie, thank you, not my puri, Mom), I stood up for my right to rice and dal. So, I was served Gujrati dal. Frankly, I have tasted better at home, but alright, the sweet dal was mildly interesting. I thought my folks were pushing it with “avial” but I humored them with some bites. My buddy, Nirvan, raved about the lassi – it was the BESTEST EVER and OH YOU GOTTA HAVE SOME, and OH I’LL TAKE YOUR SHARE. I couldn’t handle the deal with drinking from a straw, so I passed.


The High Chair Verdict: My parents gave it 5 out of 5 stars. They also really like the variety of food and great service.   I give it 2 stars – the only reason it didn’t get one star was because there was plain yogurt (the extra charge was worth it), and I kinda liked the ambiance – there was a really cool flickering light in the ceiling, which kept me entertained between bites.